you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
