I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
handjob tips. give me some.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
