She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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