i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
