Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
