i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
