I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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