I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
