she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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