this boner is exhausting
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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