I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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