I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
