As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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