Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
