im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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