I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
