Dual....:-)
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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