i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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