what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
and you fell through a lawn chair
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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