who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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