its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
