Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
porn star boner night. come get it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
