Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
