She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
