Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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