just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it hurts more in the daytime
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
