Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
