She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There r osticjed everywhere
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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