doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
