my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
