As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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