yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
