Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
