I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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