Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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