tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I love you.
Bad choice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
