So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
