i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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