I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
