In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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