come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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