Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
