btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
