You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
