plz talk dirty to me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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