What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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