She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
