I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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