HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You can't special order awesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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