just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
