Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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