Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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